I recently ran across a couple of instances of anti-single bias. One was a question posed to Quora: Why are some people always single? It was followed by answers with anecdotes about single acquaintances’ dysfunctions. Another was a Facebook post from The School of Life: Two Reasons Why You Might Still Be Single. I found myself both fascinated and appalled by this seemingly antiquated notion that one must be coupled to be happy and fulfilled. If you’re not, surely there’s something wrong with you that you’ll need to fix so you can take your place among the normal happy people in society. Where on earth did this notion come from? Is it from breeding pairs? Is it from religious texts, e.g., Adam and Eve from the Old Testament?
I’ve had some fun with this by turning it around. What if being single were the norm and we assumed that normal, well-adjusted people functioned just fine on their own? Then we might question why some people seemed to find a need to be attached to another person. Terrence seems normal and confident and secure, why do you suppose he always has a girlfriend? There must be something lacking in him that he doesn’t seem to be able to remain single. Perhaps his mother didn’t pay enough attention to him. Psychotherapy may be able to help with his lack of self confidence and/or narcissism.
Of course, I’m being at least a bit facetious. But this blog is all about different paths. I think it’s time that we start questioning the norms handed down by society and stop condemning everyone who doesn’t fit as abnormal. There may well be more than one path toward contentment and fulfillment. Perhaps we need to listen more and preach less.
A Single Mind 