I’ve been struggling with how to approach the topic of relationships. That can be a touchy subject for singles, when coupling is the norm. So, I’m going to use The Lobster as a springboard.
In the movie, singles are sent to a hotel where they have two weeks to find a mate and begin a process whereby they can reenter society. If they fail to do so, they will be turned into the animal of their choice. Yet, despite the obvious benefits of pairing off and being allowed to rejoin society as a human, there are still little educational skits reminding the rejected of the benefits of not being alone, e.g., you’ll have someone to save you from choking to death or being attacked. Well, sign me up!
There are a number of people who prefer to take to the woods and live as loners. They can be hunted by singles in the hotel. Bagging a loner will extend your stay. The equally rigid rules for the loners is where the movie goes off the rails a bit as far as I’m concerned. They’re not permitted any relationships under strict penalties. Totally unnecessary! Everyone knows loners are self policing.
As is often the case with satire and black comedies, there is more than a kernel of truth here. There does seem to be an assumption that you’re somehow incomplete if you’re not paired off. You’re often deemed to have psychological problems, intimacy issues. Or you’re just too choosy. It’s not a huge leap to think perhaps we could be considered more like animals than humans. It may not help that some of us loners actually prefer the company of companion animals to most humans.
I certainly won’t try to argue that I’m free of psychological problems, but I don’t think I’m any more or less messed up than most of my non-single friends. I’ve just chosen to bear my problems myself rather than forcing them on anyone else. I decided to call this site “A Single Mind” because I think there is a single mindset that should be recognized and acknowledged as a valid lifestyle choice. It’s not always easy. But the burdens shouldn’t be made greater by society perpetuating the myth of the soulmate or better half or whatever romantic nonsense fuels the entertainment industry and dating sites.
I won’t lie. I’ve dabbled in relationships. I am curious as to what the fuss is all about. But I could never see myself in any long term relationship. My one regret is that I’ll never have an opportunity for a big celebration like a wedding to gather together friends and family. We really need some kind of a Single Celebration. Yup, it’s just me but I want to show you I love you all.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to get through this thing called life.”
So, what kind of animal would I choose when my time was up at the hotel?
A dolphin. I’d get swim and play with other dolphins in a pod and take my frustrations out on sharks.
A Single Mind 