Truth be told, this is my greatest fear. I understand this is a common fear for all women, but particularly for singles. Forget the fact that having a husband and children is certainly no guarantee there will be anyone to take care of you in your old age, the threat of bag ladydom pretty much goes hand in hand with cat lady.
But we do face very real economic disadvantages for bucking the system and remaining single. Politicians talk about the marriage penalty but what’s really alarming is the single penalty. Lisa Arnold and Christina Campbell attempted to calculate the cost of remaining single vs. marrying in their January 2013 article in The Atlantic: The High Price of Being Single in America. They looked at projected differences over a lifetime for single vs. married women making $40K and $80K a year in: income taxes, social security, IRAs, health spending and housing.
“Our lower-earning woman paid $484,368 for being single. Our higher-earning woman paid $1,022,096: more than a million dollars just for being single.”
One can quibble about the numbers but it’s hard to dispute their overall conclusion: “singles get screwed.”
No wonder we’re afraid of winding up as bag ladies. The featured photo above, by the way, is of Dame Maggie Smith portraying Miss Shepherd in The Lady in the Van. I did take some comfort from this movie and began looking for my own mobile options.
I was more taken with a gypsy wagon than a van for my own use, however. It appeals to my 1/4 Slavic soul. So, for my retirement, I am considering the prospect of becoming a transient, moving around the country, and parking for extended periods of time in the driveways of gay friends. With cats. Consider yourselves warned.
Being single is often regarded as a temporary status, particularly for women. The myth, of course, is that there’s someone for everyone. If you’re not paired off yet, surely, that’s your ultimate goal. Otherwise, you’re doomed to a life of abject loneliness and despair as a spinster, old maid, or CAT LADY.
A Single Mind 